"She was digging too DEEP this time"

"She screamed inside, then she kept quiet. She took a quick glance around, but everyone still scurried about doing their normal business like nothing really happened. She began to talk to herself, "But I screamed, how come no one heard me?" She rubbed her eyes again and opened them, but it was still the same feeling. She felt like no one could hear her. She felt completely abandoned.

"You mean no one understands what I'm going through? Do I really have to tell anyone before it can get into their brains that I really am in pain right now? Do I really have to give a lecture concerning all the things I've been going through? Do I? DO I?" Then she went back home that night, and she decided to make one last phone call. Maybe this phone call will save her life, she thought as the phone began to ring. It rang 5 times and went straight to voicemail..."hello, this is Teee..." But she didn't even let the personalized message play itself out. She threw the phone under her bed and she began to weep...she began to weep because she had never experienced this feeling of nostalgia before. She wept because in the past she was shielded...she was shielded by the love of friends and family, she was shielded by riches, by shelter, and by unfailing love. She was protected by a false covering. So she started a thinking process, "why me???" she asked, "why me???" As she was crying, she fell into a very deep sleep.

She started to dream...like John she was taken to a distant island. She woke up on the sea shore. And she saw Him...she saw an angel, she wasn't sure if He was Jesus, but she was certain He was from God, whoever He was. He didn't speak one word. He had a Book in His hands and He began to flip through the pages, the book was kind of huge so she could read the words as He flipped the pages...

"Why me?" Psalm 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all..."

So she started to clean her tears...

"Why me?" Romans 8:19 "For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God."

So she stopped crying...

She turned to the angel and said, so the whole earth is watching me to see if God will answer my prayers? Is that it? Is that why all these things happened...wow, so people are waiting to see my God? People are watching to see the God I serve? Then she had a flash-back...she was remembering that she talked to someone, she was telling the person how she had faith that God was going to show up in her situation...but the person turned around and smiled, "I have faith too, but I think you should start thinking about other options because this situation is dead..."

So she stood up and started panting...then she started pacing back and forth...she was on her bare feet, so she felt the sharp stones under her feet. She felt her strength coming back to life...

Joel 2:25-27 “ So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; And My people shall NEVER be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the LORD your God and there is no other. My people shall NEVER be put to shame"
So the girl woke up from her dream...and God answered her prayers that same day. On the same night, she received the check she was praying for...it felt like a dream, but this time it was real. The proof was in her hands. So someone heard her actually...God heard those screams inside. Her school fees is now all *PAID FOR* enough to continue...
**This is based on a TRUE LIFE story. This girl was ME**
**This is indeed an open testimony of how God came through for me TONIGHT** Errm...February 28th, 2007. Loll...

***Finally, FREE from emotions***

You are gold
You are gold that has been polished
But to be polished you had to pass through the refiner’s fire
The refiner’s fire burnt up all your impurities,
Now you can be called, ‘pure gold.’

You are a lily
You are a lily in the valley
But you had to be in the valley before your buds could sprout to life.

It was in the valley of dead bones that God brought fullness of life
That’s why He is called the “Lily in the Valley.”

You are light
But you were first darkness
But you had to be darkness first, so there could be light
Because of you God said “let there be light,”
For without darkness there can’t be light

You are fertile
But you were first barren
But God knew He could work wonders on a barren womb

So you became barren only to become fertile
Now you are unstoppable

You are a meticulous craftsman
But you first made a lot of mistakes
But your mistakes produced perseverance
And perseverance brought forth your new character
Now mistakes are a thing of your past

You’re a mountain climber
But in training you had to first pass through the valley
You had to face thorns, hard rocks, and the scorching heat
But you became ‘resistant’ so you can reach the top of the mountain
You only passed through the valley to get to the top.

You are free
But you were first in bondage
You were first in bondage so you can appreciate freedom
Now you are free to fly like a bird…
Free to soar as high as an eagle.
No more limitations, they’re all gone now.

My friend "R" inspired me to write it...

I was listening to this song tonight, listen intensely to the words...you're not merely a man lost in a sea of faces, because He traded His life for you...His body became the bread, and His blood is the wine...that's why you should now be free from your emotions...

kutless- sea of faces

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Love series Part I: the clanging cymbal

"She was known far and wide. People crossed the oceans just to look for her. She was renowned in her writings. People sought after her inspiration, they gave anything to read her manuscripts. There was a man who sold all his possessions in order to start collecting her works. She was a muse, and she did it well. She put her whole soul and spirit into what she did. Every time she put something down on paper, some tears slid down her beautiful face. All because she was a partaker in the afflictions. She was the one she wrote about. It was her pain she wrote about. It was about her fury, desires, actions, strengths, and weaknesses. It was her passion...and she was very open. She was fluent, her words were as smooth as honey, dripping down the throats of those who read them..."

She was very fluent...but she had no LOVE...
"she had no one to love her, so she gave out no love..."

Her story was the opening paragraph of 1 corinthians 13:

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal."

If these musical instruments are placed in the hands of musical knowledge-deprived people, they would produce horrible sounds. But if placed in the hands of geniuses, people who have been trained to play their tunes, and people who are 100% passionate about music, then the tunes will come alive again.

The same analogy goes into skillful lovelessness. Free your libido. Free your heart. You can be the most sought-after writer, artist, or the most important persona prominente, but all those things minus LOVE equals ZERO. If there is no love in your heart, then you're just like a noisy musical instrument that dictates no passion.

*Love is giving and not expecting back. Love is from the heart. Love projects your passion. People can see when your love is transparent. God is love*

I Will Always Love You

Remembering the Body Guard...such voice.

***The Story of the Last Bride***

**This post is part of the friday verse series. May you not be found wanting on the very last days. May you not become "the last bride."**

She wept because she could not find him. The man of her dreams. He said he would be there for her through thick and thin, but she looked again...she looked through the sparse crowd of people, but she found him not. She ran all the way back down the aisle. She threw her bouquet of flowers on the right side of the church because her heart felt too faint to keep carrying the not-so-heavy flowers. She ran some more, to the west of the hall, and then all the way to the east. Her heart still felt faint. She started to skip three heart beats in a row. So why had they dated for five years? Five years of sweet nothings.

It took her one year to make up her mind whether she even liked him or not, then it took her another 3 years to fall in love with him. In the 5th year, loving him became as easy as loving her own body.

But she couldn't find him...

This story has been prophesied in the book of Matthew as a typical story that will happen during the very last day (matthew 24:36-44):

“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect."

Basically, this is the story of the woman who was left behind. She searched amongst the people who were left, but her husband was no where to be found. Marriage is a good thing, infact God talks about it as the union of two souls. But don't let the sweet things of this life (eating, drinking, being given away in marriage) blind your eyes to your real goal. There's somewhere that is bigger than this world we live in. Somewhere much much bigger. There is life after death. Choose your destiny, ("choose this day whom you will serve," Joshua 24:15). This friday is another chance to make a life-changing decision not to be left behind. No one will be left behind because they are "sinners," no...you will not be left behind because you were the worst person on earth. You will not be left behind because you were a very horrible person and broke all the laws. No, you will not be left behind because you've stolen before, murdered a soul, had pre-marital sex, or you've cursed all you can with the words of your mouth.

The reason anyone will be left behind is because when they were given the opportunity to accept Jesus, instead they rejected Him...

***What's your choice this friday?***
~Thank God its Friday (T.G.I.F)~

***And He told me He loved me***

I ached all over
I broke down in tears
I cried till I drowned
I died inside
I eloped again
I feigned peace though I felt it not
I groaned for His mercy
I hid from His grace
I itched for love
I joked about it
I killed myself inside
I laughed on the outside
I moaned once again
I nulled myself with ice


I opted out of the game but
I pulled myself back inside again
I queued on a very long line
I rummaged for faces I recognized
I sat on the grass alone
I told myself it was a lie
I understood it NOT...
I verified the words...
I whirled my thoughts around and around...
I xeroxed the book pages just trying to gain my sanity...
I yearned for a re-birth
I zealously researched for LOVE in the book of all books....

Then finally, I found the words I was searching for...

After going from A to Z,
on the wake of valentines morning,
"He told me He loved me..."

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting LIFE."

***Each line of the poem has been constructed by using a letter of the ALPHABET***

~Happy Valentines Day with Love~

**Fill your house with water**

Acts 2:1-2

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting...and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Imagine a house filled with water. Picture a huge mansion that has been flooded by a raging sea storm, while the tenants are away on vacation. Picture the flood getting so high that the house is as if it sits at the bottom of a deep blue ocean.

Now if a house is at the bottom of the ocean, you know that no matter how much you try to add anything else to the infrastructures of that house, it won't budge. Water fills the house, it can't take any additional luxuries.

In the same way, the Holy Spirit represents water that brings LIFE to our bodies. Not too many people know abt the Holy Spirit these days, but it's not about the number, it's about the true existence of something so profound it can only be explained by revelation. And I've experienced the presence...it was recorded in the bible that when Jesus came out of the water after being baptized by John the Baptist, the Holy Spirit descended on Him as a dove, and God spoke and said, "this is my beloved Son in Whom I am well pleased." Later, when Jesus was about to ascend into heaven, He gave a promise that this same spirit was to become man's companion. Today, the Holy Spirit is back in full motion to be there for anyone that believes.

Just like there is no space for additional furniture when a house is filled with water, so also when you're filled with the Holy Spirit, there's no space in your life for sin, there's no space for illness, there's no space for lack of joy, and there's no space for lack of success. You're just completely filled from your head to your toes.

**fILL ur HoUsE with WATER**
**Leave no space for irrelevant things**

***My First KISS...(3 Things)...***

All u narrow-minded fellas...first kiss ko, first smooch ni...lolll. This is my FIRST MEME...I'm going nuts already. Finally, I found one that will make me think just a little (I'm kinda like a deep thinker...yeah, like duh?). But this thing is kinda hard o ~ all you meme kings and queens, I kinda respect u guys for doing this all the time. Anyways, why am I doing this? Actually, I seriously cannot keep my concentration for too long, even when I'm supposed to be studying for an exam. So I opted to play just a little bit. Anyways, here it goes...

(insert movie song with loud sounding drums):

Three things that scare me:
1. Destiny-changing mistakes (things that can change a person's destiny forever)
2. My ability to hurt someone else's feelings (I try not to do that with my best ability, cos it hurts me too).
3. I rebuke fear out of my system (sowwie...can't come up with #3...lol)

Three people who make me laugh:
1. My dad (more like makes me smile)
2. Best friend (50% laughter, 50% anger...it depends on the day...lol)
3. Clark Kent from smallville...I'm just waiting for him to tell Lana he LOVES HER already (what's wrong with just confessing??? Loll...anyways, maybe when he confesses I'll loose my interest of the show, so lemme keep laughing at his silly pretenses...)

Three Things I love:
1. Romance
2. Hot water baths
3. I've always loved any one who knows me so well that they can complete my sentences for me...not that it's important for them to complete my sentences, its just really FUNNY to me that anyone will know me to that extent (lol).

Three Things I hate:
1. Ruthlessness.
2. Non-chalant attitudes about life
3. A DIRTY house/room

Three Things I don't understand:
1. Racism
2. The mind of a Murderer
3. What goes on in the mind of a rapist.

Three things on my desk:
1. Stickers with bible verses
2. My laptop (like duhh?)
3. Three empty cereal bowls

Three things I’m doing right now:
1. Trying to finish my "lymphatics lecture"
2. Thinking about having just one more bowl of cereal (or maybe I shd just stand up and make that sphagetti and corned-beef sauce...seriously dude!)
3. Thinking of the name of my future dog (while sipping a bottle of MALTA GOYA...this drink rocks!!!)

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. To travel to all the countries of the world (u think its possible? I believe in the craziest things)
2. To build private hospitals in Nigeria.
3. To have the most romantic honey-moon in the most mind-blowing location.

Three things I can do (well)-->(hmmm...abt this one...I really think I'm still learning how to do 'everything' well though, I'm not perfect in any thing yet):
1. Write (think up random stuff)
2. Laugh
3. Act silly

Three things you should listen to:
1. All CDs by Jeremy Camp
2. The sound of beach waters hitting the corals by the sea-shore (its therapeutic, you have to close your eyes though).
3. The sound of birds chirping very early in the morning.

Three things you should never listen to:
1. Music that makes you meditate on worthless things
2. Hard rock (sorry fans, I like soft rock though)...
3. Someone who undermines your abilities in YOUR FACE! The minute they start talking, walk away from the conversation because its worthless!

Three things I’d like to learn:
1. To cook international dishes
2. To study in 3 seconds (*sigh* I guess thats not possible).
3. To speak the heart of God and say exactly what He wants me to say at the right time (that my mouth will only speak LIFE...)

Three favourite foods:
1. Pounded yam and ogbono soup (real Naija babe, abi?).
2. Spicy Fried rice with very soft plantains, and stew
3. MY CEREALLLL (lucky charms OR honey crunches).

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Starbucks hot chocolate
2. Starbucks extra hot chocolate
3. Starbucks extra hot chocolate with EXTRA-whipped cream (hot stuff).

Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
1. The Famous five
2. The Nancy Drew Files (I suck cos I still read them).
3. The WISHING CHAIR (I loveeeed that book).

Three people I would like to tag:
Mack, Nilla, and The Life of a Stranger called Me (if they haven't done it already...not sure).

Love, yours truly

***It was that girl...(seeds of rememberance)***

*** This post is part of the "friday verse series." May every single friday be a day of confirmation for you. May your weekend be filled with pleasant surprises, in Jesus Name, the Name above every other name, Amen ***

It was that girl...it was that girl who took the ointment and poured it at the feet of Jesus. It was that girl who loosed the bands on her hair, and used her hair to wipe the feet of Jesus. It was that girl who used her tears to wash His feet. She did this long ago, but the people remembered her seeds later on.

John 11:2 "It was Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick..."

This was the description of Mary. Her description was based on the SEEDS she sowed some weeks before this incident. The seeds and deeds of Mary went before her into the future. The fruit of her seed contributed to bringing her brother Lazarus back to life. There were many people with the name, "Mary" at the time, but this particular Mary was remembered because of her seed.

***What significant seed will you be remembered for?***
It's funny how God uses the little things to minister to people. I opened this book today not knowing I would read about this lady. I needed someone to help me with something really urgent today. Basically, it was a deadline at school that I am supposed to be meeting by 3p.m today. And guess how the conversation went...
Jaycee: *dialing a number for help*
Helper: Hi
Jaycee: Hi, good morning. This is Jaycee
Helper: Yeah, my husband told me you needed me to help you with something this morning.
Jaycee: Yes, please...its really urgent, there's this deadline I have to meet by 3p.m today.
Helper: okay, let me see...I think I have an idea of who you are...are you that girl that did ___ on a wednesday night last year?
Jaycee: yes ma (shocked that anyone would even think to use that to describe someone).
Helper: okay I know you now. That's fine, I'll help you with ___.
I wish someone heard the conversation. It's as if I'm hallucinating, yet I know it was as real as I could feel my elbow. After this conversation on the phone this morning, after I had obtained the urgent help I needed, I picked up the daily sword and saw the reading for today...and I had to shake my head in amazement, with the way God orchestrated everything to happen...exactly at this time...it was about 7:30 a.m.
This God we keep talking about...is R.E.A.L...don't miss out on His Power. He's the God that answers at the very last minute...
**Courtsey: the Daily Sword**
ps: thanks Cherub for waking me up this morning...lol, this conversation happened when I dropped the phone talking to u. Hope I can make it to TERC next friday. Thanks Ben for waking moi up too...you human alarms are great!!!
May God console the families of those that passed away during this fatal accident in Nigeria (see the news HERE, obtained from bella naija's blog).

~Boot Camp: MISSIONS TASK #1 (club 400)~

So remember the January 23rd Club 400 invitations? Yeahhhhh...yes that one! So some of us decided to join the club. We sent in our applications and everything, and some of us were accepted to be part of the team. It was so easy to join the club, no application fee. Project completed! Well, so they've called us into the camp location, and we're in 'boot-camp' right now.

So, we're sitting in a room crowded with all sorts of people; tall, short, big, thin, anorexic, bulimic, diabetic, and asthmatic folk all over the place. Some girls are joking about their experience last night. Apparently club members had a little get-to-know-you thing last night. Geez, I must have missed out on that one. I sleep way too much! Oh well, hope they have some more parties soon. I wanna meet all these lovely people who decided not to just stay behind at Brook Besor, even though we're all weak, we know God can make us strong so we raised up our hands to join club 400. How sweet!

So our instructor makes his way up front. Tall guy, handsome and well-built 6-pack physique, although he wore glasses (I think well-built guys are God-sent!). Anyway, he starts by calling all noise-makers to silence. "Hey guys, we need to get going...we've already been given our first missions project by God." As soon as everyone heard 'God,' they just momentarily spun around at light speed and turned their focus on the dude in front. Lolll...people sha!

"Yeah, I knew that would get ur attention. That name always works. There's power in His Name." Everyone laughs, "yeah..." we all agree. At this time, people are already dying to know what their first task in heaven's boot camp will be.

"Today," he continues, "we will group you guys into two teams: yellow and blue. I heard you guys had a lil somn last night so u should all know each other by now. So basically, all of you will vote for one person to head your team, because on the last day, that person has to give ACCOUNT of every statement and plans you guys make. Understood?" Everyone nods their head in excitement. In my head, I'm like "mennn, so what's MY task?" I really want to know. Is it to go and preach in Japan? Is it to go to South-Africa? Hmmm...maybe I can even specially request that they send me to Hawaiii...he he...that should be fun. In the name of preaching, I may get a vacation and break from school work...

I was caught off my day-dreams...back to reality...

He paused, then He continued again "God told me not to give you guys any task today," a loud uproar arises from the crowd of people, some people even stand up in their shocked exhilarated states. "yes, yes, yes...I know how you feel about that, but He is actually the Author and Finisher of your faith, also He's the Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End...He already knows you guys can't handle it...at least not yet. So in order to prepare you guys for the first task, there will be a competition tonight between the yellow and blue teams, it's titled, "who can cross the fire to the end?"

At this point a girl abruptly stands up and says, "whattttttt??? I suffered to cross the river only to come and cross fire? Please, I take God beg u...I'm not about to go and explain to my father why I came to boot-camp to get burns on my body." With that speech, she quickly packs her bags and leaves the room. A couple of girls follow suit after that. If that's the case, they would rather go back into the world and find some other "more comfortable activities" than crossing fire...activities that won't give them scars, burns, or pimples. Activities that won't make them the stench of the community, wouldn't geve them a society stigma, and wouldn't make them OUT-CASTS. Please...

The instructor continues his speech, "see, if they had waited for the end of my speech, they would have realized that the fire of God is for their own beautification and not for their destruction...YES, it definitely is a consuming fire, but it consumes the bad in you and retains the good. If they studied the word of God, they would have come across Zechariah 13: 8-9 that says

"And it shall come to pass in all the land,” says the LORD, “ That two-thirds in it shall be cut off and die, but one-third shall be left in it: I will bring the one-third through the fire, will refine them as silver is refined, and test them as gold is tested."

"...So if they had read the word, they would know that the fire makes us come out as pure gold, pure beautiful gold that when people look at you they will have to ask you why you're so beautiful. If they had read the word, they wouldn't want to be part of the 2/3rds that were cut off club 400, 2/3rds did not make it through the fire but 1/3rd did, and those that will make it are the remnants who will not be scared to become scarred."

At the end of the day, the so-called 'remnants' in the room looked at each other and smiled...we made it through the rivers, now we will make it through the various fires of life, because they will only make us stronger...
***The fires of life are hot when you pass through them, but when you come out you will be as beautiful as gold...so stay strong through pain, and wait for the completion of the purification into gold. Your end result will definitely be astonishing***
Lesson #1
Camp 400
Dashing out to the locker rooms...

Have you met Ms. Mercy yet?

Mercy is the sweetest person I've ever known. I met her when I was really little, and since then I've never doubted our friendship. Over the years, I did a lot of things to hurt her. There was even a time I went out of my way to do the very thing I knew she hated. I told myself it would only hurt her just a little bit, and we could still be friends after that. But it hurt her way more than I expected it would. It brought me to tears because I knew I didn't have to hurt her that way. But I still did. I looked at Mercy in her dilapidated state, but she just stared right back at me and whispered, "I love you."

Mercy never mentions my transgressions. When she sees I'm doing something wrong, she tries to warn me. When I don't listen, the pain she feels makes me feel like I'm hurting my own body, because she acts like her body is my body. Even after I saw her pain, I still went ahead to do some more things that were bad for me. You know what she told me? She told me if it was bad for me, then it was bad for her as well. Mercy told me she wanted to bear the consequences of my actions with me. That was when I realized what I had. Who in their right mind would want to do that? Who would want to carry my sin on her shoulders? Then I begged for her forgiveness. I needed to know I was forgiven. I needed to know that she forgave me because that was to be my own healing process. But mercy said "No!" She said, "I'm never going to let you go." I cried. Who in their right mind would love someone like me? After all I've done?

Then I woke up from my dream...

I started rejoicing...."alas, alas, I've found true love." So mercy is what I need. Mercy is what I need to get through my day-to-day activities. Mercy is what picks me up when I fall down. Mercy is what makes me smile when I'm going through pain. Mercy is what gives me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Mercy is always there for me in the dark and in the light. Mercy was there when I was real bad...and is still here now I'm trying to be good.

I've found the key. The key is mercy. So after my dream, I decided to go to the Potter's house at the corner of the street, and I asked Him if He knew who mercy was. That was when He pulled me close and whispered to me, "I knew you were coming here today, and I knew exactly what you were going to say." Then He placed a key in my hand and He said, "here is mercy, I made it just for you. Hold it whereever you go and let it be an emblem of My love for You...a love that will never die."

The Potter is God, and He made Mercy just for me...