Before She became a Queen...


All along I had been jolly and ecstatic, until I hopped along with a smiley face to the computer, and right there in my bank account I found a mishap. I immediately called mr. B and explained my change of mood from 'happy' to 'foul.' Life, you see, could take you right from the top of a high roller coaster where you are indeed "high," and drop you right into the center of the bottom of an ocean. Immediately, thoughts that weren't there before over-flooded me, thoughts like my numerous job applications that are pending, my current status in the United States, my current lack of a car, and my dream of my own little fancy apartment with the interior decorations my heart so desires, and my huge vision for the future that seemed so real and yet so far-fetched (more like "only God can bring that one to fruition" because this vision is hu-ge!!!).

And so I got on the train and brought out my bible, as my American seat buddy stared on at me. He must have been thinking I'd lost it because my bible is a huge red bible, and my luxurious chanel bag (in my dreams) was just managing to carry it (ok, my bag is cute but it's really not That's how I started hearing 'something' whisper in my ears...before she became a queen...before she became a queen. At that moment I caught it. I figured God was trying to tell me something, and the most beautiful story I knew about a queen was in the book Of Esther. And this is where my story begins...

Her name was Hadassah. Esther. Star. She was a star, but she didn't realize it yet. She was a Jew, yet she was just the average every-day chick, you of those ones like you and I, the girl next door. The girl whose beauty was a sight to behold but yet who still didn't take herself too seriously. If she lived in the 21st century she may just have opted to wear jeans and sneakers to the movie theater, as opposed to a fancy dress and tall stilettos, oh anything for comfort.!!!

She looked very normal and she acted very normal, yet there was a pain inside her that no one could see, except herself. Oh, did you know that she lost both of her parents at a very tender age? Oh life did treat her badly. Yes, she had to be brought up by her uncle, who took it upon himself to call her "daughter." Yet, she knew that the love of her uncle could never replace the love of a father. Oh, she longed for someone to call "daddy," but no matter how much she dreamed or how much she cried, her father could not return her embrace. But one thing God told me about Hadassah last night was that she had something called "Endurance." She endured for goodness knows how long. She waited on her God. She was also a very obedient girl, for she was easy to love by her uncle. Therefore, she became a target for God. She became his instrument.

"Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing" (James 1:2-4). "...knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope..."(Romans 5:3-4). "And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises" (Hebrews 6:11-12).

If Hadassah had not been patient, then she would have lacked something. But in her loss she found joy. And in her perseverance she built up her character. And when it was time to choose a "beautiful young virgin" for the king, of course she was ready...God Himself had been preparing her all this time. Her character had been transformed to something called "hope," a phenomenon that causes a small person to see a mighty bright light at the end of the tunnel. She had it now. She had all that it took to become the of the most powerful queens in the whole of history, who changed the history of the Jews forever. She was well equipped.

But the real story was before she became a queen...

Before you become the Queen or king God has already created you to be, I want you to target all your energy into the preparation stages. Try and see what God is trying to do for you. Try and catch the various roles of kingship and royalty. In your princely robes start learning how to become the King that will ascend to the throne. So that you will be ready when the time comes. Life has its ups and downs, but you have the power of joy to live through it.

"Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage, as they pass through the Valley of Baca ("weeping" or "sorrow"), they make it a spring." Psalm 84:5-6

This psalm is dedicated to anonymous#1 who talked abt Depression in my post called "Before the Silver Cord gets Loosed." The spirit of depression is not your portion. I already know God is taking you somewhere, infact that's why you feel that way in your emotions.
Learnt this scripture from E last night. Thanks.
Humor: The girl in the picture is dancing to Yahoooozeeeeeeee!!!! Lol.

Futile thoughts, Darkened hearts...

Is it really worth it?
To give yourself to the unknown
To consciously walk in the opposite direction
To be awake during your surgical operation
as the devil slowly dissects your vulnerable organs
while you willingly choose death over life?

Is it really worth it?
To engage in the trial and error method
To feed your mind with senseless philosophies
histories or ideologies
To over-analyze a simple matter
Or create options when you only have one

Is it really worth it?
To accept confusing mentalities
To dissect compounding phenomena
To win scientific confusion
To predict the weather when you know not tomorrow?

My eyes have seen that it is indeed worth it
To dispel futile thoughts
And just lie in the arms of your Creator
As opposed to serving His creations.
Just to trust in His invisible hand
because you can see His visible works!
Just to be "still" and know that He is God.
It is really worth it
For here you will find peace in the existence of your life
For you did not come into this world yourself
God created you.

"For since the creation of this world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image like corruptible man..." Romans 1:20-23

*Before the Silver Cord gets Loosed*

The 'Silver Cord' is a metaphysical term relating to the connection between the physical body and the spirit man. It is also a metaphor for the human body (wikipedia); the silver cord generally is used to refer to the spine, and the golden bowl the head of the body. This brings me to today's friday verse series. I was reading the book of Ecclesiastes and I felt like I was swimming in secret words of wisdom that were unleashed right from the belly of a wise scribe...

Right there, towards the end of the book, in chapter 12, I came across this prose:

Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth,
Before the difficult days come,
And the years draw near when you say,
"I have no pleasure in them":
While the sun and the light,
The moon and the stars,
Are not darkened,
And the clouds do not return after the rain;

In the day when the keepers of the house tremble,
And the strong men bow down;
When the grinders cease because they are few,
And those that look through the windows grow dim;
When the almond tree blossoms,
The grasshopper is a burden,
And desire fails...

Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed,
or the golden bowl is broken,
or the pitcher shattered at the fountain,
or the wheel broken at the well.
Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God Who gave it.

Many researchers have described a silver cord as an elastic cord that when stretched continuously it becomes thinner and thinner, until it cuts. Therefore, they have used that phrase to denote the period during dying where the physical man becomes disconnected from the spirit man.

Oh, this may seem so profound, but it is a very simple ideology: that God alone is Sovereign and He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, and the First and the Last. Even before time began He was. He was the One who constructed the entire foundations of our universe as we know it, yet we do not know the boundaries of the universe. His wisdom can never be paralleled or fathomed. Therefore, it was the conclusion of the author of the book of Ecclesiastes, as is also my conclusion today, that even in our YOUTH, we must remember our Creator. Thinking you have one life to live and so you must do everything doable is only a vain thought, for life is like a vapor slowly seeping to the top of an hour-glass. Many have left this world in their youth, and sadly some of them did not get a chance to do what they were created to do. To achieve their goals. To touch even one life.

But YOU have this chance. You're young, vibrant, and beautiful. You're alive and way better than a dead man. YOU of course had the chance to breathe the new oxygen of this morning's dawn. YOU have been given the chance to become born-again and embrace your Father's loving arms. YOU have been given the chance to live again, free from the sorrows and pains of yesterday.

YOU have been given the chance to have the JOY that only God can give.

Embrace it today...before the silver cord gets loosed...

**The picture above is Venus from Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus."**


In truth, how can you describe something when, in its existence you are dissolved, in its contemplation you are undone, in its purity you are intoxicated, in your surrender you are fulfilled, in your joy you are parted from yourself? - Rabia

I was reading one of my numerous e-journals some minutes ago and I found the quote above, a quote I fell in love with just a couple of years ago. Any time I read this I feel the author was in a state of inexplicable joy that cannot really be defined by words. I feel as though he may have ripped the dictionary open, spliced about one hundred words, selected some words at random, and yet still couldn't define exactly how he felt. A state of inexplicable joy. Wouldn't you want to feel a type of joy that can't be described? Wouldn't you want to be in that place where you're lost in the moment? I know I would want to be there all the time. Though sorrow may come, but I want joy to rise up within me in the morning. Reminds me of Habakkuk 3:17-19 that says,

"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The LORD God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills."

Yet...I will rejoice in the Lord, I will JOY in the God of my salvation. But notice something here: the writer said that in the process of this joy God will make his feet like deer's feet. So I hopped along to investigate what exactly deer's feet were all about. I found out that deers have claws on their feet and they run very swiftly, that is 35 miles per hour. They also posess a great leaping ability. They bound swiftly across a dense forest or prairie, often jumping 8 feet into the air. I also found out that it is very hard to catch a deer as prey because their feet are swift. Before you target them they would have already leaped 8 feet into the air and landed in another place. This is exactly how our feet should be as children of God. We should not stay in one spot long enough to let the enemy catch us as prey. When the enemy thinks he's gotten us in a certain area, we should have leaped more than 8 feet into the air into another area of success and joy.

How can you be in this inexplicable state of outright bliss? There's only one answer, and yes though it may sound like a cliche to you, there's still only one answer. Only God can give you joy like no one else can. No matter how much you place your all in something else, you'll never really feel complete unless you are in the arms of your Creator. If you haven't found God yet, ask Him to reveal Himself to you and He will.

"Where you there when I laid the foundations of the earth?" asked God, when He questioned a man called Job out of the whirlwinds...and I can imagine what response would be the correct response to give. From reading the bible I realized that Job kept quiet and I'm guessing he was stuck in a state of no return. There was no possible way he could answer that except he could first define "foundations of the earth," which of course he couldn't. So he surrendered himself to his Creator as his Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End...the One Who was, Who is, and Who is to come...the One who owns the book of your life's story and the Author of all the chapters of your book.

When I think about God, I'm undone. When I think of God's power, I'm lost in sweet abandon. When I think about His holiness, I am confined to a perpetual state of momentum. When I think about His size, I am reduced in my knowledge of mathematics. When I think about His love for me, how He forgives me of my repetitive sinful acts, I am lost in a moment of joy. When I think of His breath, and I imagine how He breathed life into my dry lifeless body, I am stunned beyond proportion. Then when I think about His love, how He can love someone like me, despite all my needless flaws, I just stand there in awe of His presence. I am indeed undone. As rabia said in that quote above, in my surrender I am fulfilled. In my joy I am parted from myself.

The Clutch Purse, Hope

She ran down the uncountable stairs in high speed, with the long tail of her white and pink flowing gown trailing behind her as she ran with the wind. She was dressed to kill, wearing the most expensive chiffon fabric, sewn to fit her shape perfectly and done by the family tailor. Her hair was packed in a simple alluring French bun with a scarf the color of her gown, and her ear-rings and jewelry had matching silver designs. Her make-up was light, sassy, and very feminine, with the finishing touch of pink blush on her cheeks. She was ready for the best event of the year and she was ready to grab her award. But she stopped running when she got to the 54th step, as she realized she had forgotten her most vital element: her clutch purse.

A lot of women cannot do without their hand-bags or clutch purses, at least we need a constant supply of lip-gloss when the lips get dry. Funny enough, today my analogy is that of a clutch purse representing "hope" in the life of child of God. We can't do without hope. Hope is the vital clutch purse that will complete the whole outfit. Hope is that element that pushes us forward to reach our destinies. With hope the anthem is "forward ever, backwards never." Without hope there is really nothing to look forward to.

"For there is hope for a tree,
If it is cut down, that it will sprout again,
And that its tender shoots will not cease.

Though its root may grow old in the earth,
And its stump may die in the ground,

Yet at the scent of water it will bud
And bring forth branches like a plant."

Job 14:7-9


Psalm 31:24: "Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD."

Proverbs 23:15-18 "My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will rejoice—indeed, I myself; Yes, my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak right things. Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the LORD all the day; For surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off."

And so I have come to a very important conclusion: there is no life without hope. It is hope that will push you and I forward. If God told you something about yourself in the middle of the night, you've got to hold to to it. Hold on as tight as you hold on to your clutch purse, especially when it has a small handle. See, God is not a man that He should lie. He can never lie to you because He watches over every word He speaks to make sure that those words are accomplished. Everything that you are "sure" He has spoken He must do, unless you are not sure. If you are not sure then you need to ask Him again so that you can be sure. But whatever He has spoken He must do. Sometimes we forget those things that God has spoken concerning us for so many reasons. It could be that He spoke something to you a century ago, and gosh it has been so long! But it's time to remind ourselves of those exact words, because He will be faithful to perform it.

I want to be soaked in oil all year round, but I also never want to forget my clutch purse, hope, even as I scurry around doing my daily activities and routines. Don't forget your purse at home today...

Image by: Roger Mesquita

Soaked in oil all year round...

As much as I didn't want to leave my beautiful exotic island, Victoria Island, I finally let go of paradise and entered the plane, athough reluctantly. I'm finally back and I missed my blog a little too much. At first sight, America seemed as though in the moments I wasn't in it, it was being peeled off its old bark and replaced with a brand new one. I literally smelled the fresh leaves of the trees as the car sped out of the airport and down the familiar highway. But even before the plane landed I knew that somehow the message for myself and many of you out there was that we can be soaked in the type of oil that can replenish our bodies even for the entire length of this year of 2008. This is my personal confidence.

There was a prophet in Israel, Elijah, who according to the instruction from God was drinking his water from a brook in a place called Cherith which flows into the river Jordan (1 Kings 17). So the story was that after a while this brook got dried up and its water stopped flowing. Of course you can guess that Elijah no longer had any source of water supply. Again God called Elijah and told him to go to another place called Zarephath, and that in this place he would meet a widow who would supply him with food and water. Little did Elijah know that the woman who God was sending him to was busy looking for sticks so that she could cook her and her son's "last meal." When he got there and asked for a meal and water, he was probably surprised when the woman told him that she was about to cook their last meal because she only had a "handful" of flour and only very little oil left in a jar. In that moment God spoke to the widow through Elijah, and Elijah found himself speaking these exact words: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’

For reasons I do not understand yet, I just feel God is speaking these same words again today. This year, I'm going to remember these same words, that my jar of oil will not run dry. No, it can't run dry. See, it doesn't matter what comes my way. Imagine a jar of oil sitting pretty on a shelf in a house, tightly sealed too. If a storm comes upon that house and the jar falls down, the oil will still not run dry because of the seal. If a thief comes in the middle of the night, he may try to steal my jar of oil but because of the tight seal, he must return it to the shelf where the oil belongs. I will be the only one to drink or utilize the oil in the preparation of my meals because God gave it specifically to me as a gift. Various trials may come, but my oil will not run dry in this year. This is how I am going to start my year. Like Elijah spoke those words to that woman, I am also speaking these words to you (and it will also be unto you if you believe...if you have only a mustard seed size of faith then the oil of God that you are keeping in your jar will also not run dry this year).

To me, this oil represents everything that will sustain my life: the powerful word of God (that can cut through the soul and the spirit) ~ knowledge of the word, understanding of the word, and daily application of the word. It may seem very sweet to say, but hard to practice, but by God's grace we can do this. Every single thing for living a good life is inside the word: equipments for rising up when we fall, keys for opening the doors of success, hammers for building the foundations of righteousness, chisels for building our homes on the solid foundation, proverbs for living well with family and friends, water for drinking when we are dry and thirsty, and food to eat when we are hungry, not even forgetting the jokes to crack when we are bored (e.g. Songs of Solomon). Everything is in the word. The word of God is way more than just a novel or an interesting book. It is the power of a son and daughter of God. With the word of God, you will find yourself sliding through mountain slopes that were hard to climb before (the oil will obviously provide the ease).

I AM completely immersed and soaked in oil that will not run dry in 2008...and I pray that this same confidence will be radiated to anyone reading this who can just trust God for it. It doesn't matter who you think you have been in the past, what the color of your skin is, or what your profession may or may not be. You just have to receive God's oil, like the widow of Zarephath who trusted what the prophet told her, and lo and behold her little oil in a jar just did not run dry!

Are you READY?