An Outburst of Release:


The atmosphere was tense...really very tense. Maybe it was the after effects of a heavy rain, or the rough winds that blew after the rain. Temi did not know which one caused the tension in the atmosphere, or maybe he did after all. He was walking past the houses in the alley, and beside him his best friend, Ada, was matching his footsteps with hers. They were eating ice-cream from cones. Ada had just cracked a joke, and it was funny. They both giggled a little bit, and then it was all quiet again. It felt as though they were pleading with the houses beside them to speak, and urging the inanimate objects lying on the uneven tarred road to say something, since neither of them spoke again.

Temi's over-working mind began to play games on him. "Should I tell her about the pain that shot through me when she made those accusations against me?" He asked himself. It was even painful to remember that episode. Two days ago an argument had turned sour, and Ada had accused him of being something that he was not. How could she? Ada of all people, his closest confidant. It was truly painful. Though he tried to forget the words she said, it kept coming back to haunt him.

A drop of icecream spilled unto her dress. That very drop triggered more of his anger. He resisted the urge to bring out his paper knapkin to wipe it off. She did it herself. "Gosh, am I a child?" she muttered, more to herself than to anyone else.

"I have to talk to you about that day!" It was more of a forced outburst than a sentence. But as it came out of his lips, he felt a burden drop off his shoulders.

"I've been thinking of that day too. I'm really sorry about what I said Temi. I didn't really mean to." Ada replied.

Immediately she apologized, the whole world made a 360 degrees revolution in his head and all the earthquakes, firestorms and hailstorms troubling him were subdued. Like that day never happened. They proceeded to the front steps of her house, sat down, and talked about the incident for three more hours...

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Close friends are like peas in a pod; their shared love usually slowly blends their characteristics into a liquefied mesh, making the people in context look like a blended mix of a homogeneous mixture. The closer you get to someone, the more difficult it would be to distinguish one from the other. So also is it with couples. Too many people have signified that many couples begin to look alike after a few months into their relationships and/or marriages. It's amazing. But sometimes things happen in friendships...and an outburst of release is needed...
.
Never feel that you cannot talk to your friend about the things that they do that hurt you. I have realized that for the friendships that do matter to us, an open line of communication is the key. We are imperfect people and every individual sees things in a different way. The things that may be bugging you may not even be on your friend's mind, but if you don't have that outburst of release and say what's on your mind, you will continue to have an emotional turmoil. Outbursts of release, in my opinion, keep a relationship close and honest. I know, because I had one of those outbursts on Saturday night, and it was really liberating *sigh*!!! Too much ado about nothing!

"Lord, who may abide in your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor does he take up a reproach against his friend..." Psalm 15: 1 & 3

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25 comments:

DiAmOnD hawk said...

hola....
i think i
t's a learning process... this outburst thing... oh well...

you're right... what may be bothering me... may not even register on my friend's mind...

OKEY.CC said...

Good

Kafo said...

i'm thinking about that verse that in proverbs something verse one where it says a soft answer turns away wrath.

thanks for the reminder
i love Brandon too i had to keep that song on my playlist even tho' it had nothing to do with the post

have a blessed week

Andy said...

It's so funny how close friends are the ones who can hurt you the most. I can remember when a very close friend hurt me some years ago, I felt so baaaaad! However, after talking things over, the relief was overwhelming!!!

ShawnDaVinci said...

The quality of a relationship is directly a result of the quality of communication between the players in that relationship. Think about any relationship...between lovers...mother and daughter, Father and son...God and His children...?
As long as the lines remain open and the 'network aint busy', no matter the storms, the friendship will weather it through and there'll be sunshine after all.
Nice write up.
Cheers. And thanks for dropping a line on my blog. If we keep this up, who knows...we could become good friends too...(just thinkin)

Rita said...

Message for me…
I agree with you…
In relationships, there are bound to be things that would cause anger, concern, hurt or bitterness
Such things could erode the relationship
But when we take out time to communicate constructively, or say the words, “I’m Sorry”, we find out that the relationship gets better and heals. This is much better than leaving things unsaid which will later build up and make one explode. That’s why someone can wake up one morning and say, “I don’t love you anymore” out of the blues…

Speaking of outburst…I’d like to agree with Kafo on “A soft answer turns away wrath…” It works.

simeone said...

enjoyed reading this...thanks alot//
will keep it till i get a friend..

Debbie said...

True words.
Outburst of release is needed every now and again, especially with closed friends. If we can't be ourselves with our closest friends, then we need to check our relationships.
I really love the way you write and bring things out. Thanks for such a thought provoking encouragement.

Temite said...

Oh my,
I so needed to hear this today. I have stopped talking to my very good friend because of what she said, and I just realised that she might not even know.

InCogNaija said...

as always, right on the money jaycee.
i used to suffer so much from those burdens that i just decided that even if talking about it makes me look stupid and petty, i will still do it and get peace of mind.

Afronuts said...

*Gives Jaycee a hug*
Thanks so much for this post!

No wonder another blogger called u blogsville's resident pastor!

That was beautiful and inspiring. And i believe u're right! The outburst will set u free otherwise the beef will rot in u and turn to something else!

naijalines said...

Inspiring. Thank you.

aloted said...

Thanks for this. Need to forward to a friend of mine who is having issues with a good friend of hers...

God bless!

meanwhile i can listen to the music on ur page now...gosh i have been missing o...Lovely song by Lifehouse :)

ehn hen is it possible for u to put on repeat?? instead of going to the page to press play. if not no wahala...sebi na me wan listen to music..lol

Jaycee said...

Diamond...abi o...it's a learning process, no rush. First and foremost, we've all gotta learn to pick our sentences properly...some random outbursts could defeat the whole purpose of reconciliation...*hugs*

Okey...:)

Kafo...I like that proverb that says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger...it's in proverbs 15:1 (thanks to Biblegateway.com).

Andy...tell me about it...close friends are the ones who can hurt u the most. The other ones don't have such power. I'm glad you were able to talk things over...:)

Shawndavinci...I love how you put it: Quality of a relationship = Quality of communication. Good math! I know I'll keep checking your blog...*wink*

Rita...I like that phrase, "communicate constructively." Because the flip side is destructive communication...that's where cussing a friend out comes in...

Simeone...I'm hope you will be able to utilize this concept when the need arises. *smiles*

Debbie...thank u...*hugs*

Temite...for real, she may not even know. Remind her of the incident again...(more than half of the things we get mad about resulted because we took them the wrong way)...

Incognaija...thank God for you o...no more suffering unnecessary burdens...lol.

Afronuts...u're referring to Omosewa and her nickname giving! Lol. Kai...I hope the beef we concur daily do not ROT inside us (that phrase will make a person jump and intervene in the situation o). Who wants beef to rot inside them? Lol.

Naijalines...u're welcome. How are you doing?

Aloted...yay, u can listen to songs now! I don't know how to put it on repeat though...he he. I think that will make some people mad too (all the peeps who don't like music on people's blogs) *smiles*

rethots said...

Sometimes, we need to let our guards down (daring the consequences which is not necessarily alway that bad) and let it out.

Vera Ezimora said...

Communication is so important. But you know what I tend to do (which I know is bad), I don't leave an open line of communication in relationships that don't mean anything 2 me. When friends I don't care for do things that piss me off, I really don't care 2 tell them. Bad, right? lol

The poets voice ~~~ said...

This is a lesson for everyone most especially for me. I guess sometimes you know what you have to do but its not that easy.I wonder why its the people closest to you that hurt you the most.
thanks Jaycee..great post!!

Writefreak said...

aloted thanks for sending me this! jaycee..thank you for sharing, it sometimes becomes hard when your friend is not interested in hearing what you have to say though...but i agree it's just better to bare our minds

how're you doing?

Kemi PenĂ©lopĂȘ said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog and showing your love...
I will definitely add you also to my Blogroll...

Great Post, I have to add!!!

aloted said...

@writefreak..why u dey mention my name now..u wan show urself abi...lol..

u r welcome sha...;)

~Sirius~ said...

You've got my vote on this one. A Subtle approach works just fine...... and like Rita says, bottling it up just helps to erode the relationship.

Osondu Nnamdi Awaraka said...

I like this one. I do.

NewLife said...

aint that the truth? I feel bad when I listen to people that choose to hold it all in and painfully watch as they let go of friendships when I know just how much freer they could be...

webround said...

the other side of the coin is this - we have 2 be open to the outbursts, i.e. we hv 2 be ready 2 listen 2 others whn they wnt 2 say smthg. if ur frnd cnt talk to u, or whn he has an outburst, u shut him up, thn d person starts bottling thngs up, and d reltshp gets poisoned

Jaycee said...

Webround...I have to say that I absolutely support your point of view. There are infact two aspects of an outburst...there's the speaker, and then the listener.