It is not that I wanted to grow up that way. I wanted the good life. I wanted it all, love, fame and fortune. But instead I got filth!
I remember how he used to tell me that I was the only special thing in his life. Daddy would come back home late at night, and I'd still be up waiting for his kiss on my cheeks. Oh, how I used to long for that kiss. I'd stay awake chasing the flies from my dirty face. I'd stay awake hugging Lucy, the doll who never came to life- with her one eye and half-torn neck. I'd stay awake crying because mama was in her room downing the rum like her life depended on it. Finally, papa would stroll into my room and give me my long-awaited kiss, even with the filth on his mouth from the bituminous coal mine. Yes, daddy worked those unnecessary long hours inside that filthy black hole. They were not worth it because the money was useless. In fact he smelled of rotten eggs every night. He told me it was the damp sulfur in the air which they called 'stink damp.' My older sister ran away from it all, but I was the one who stayed and endured the stench.
Daddy was a brave man. Mama was a weak alcoholic. My sister was a run-away child. Why I stayed there in the stench, I do not understand. But I grew up in filth. I'm in a different place now. I'm in my happy place now.
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This morning I opened those dusty pages again. Remember the great book, the bible? Yeah, that one! I read Matthew 13 where Jesus was talking about the parable of the wheat and the weeds. See, a farmer sowed good seeds and in the night his enemy came to plant weeds amongst the good seeds. After a while, his servants began to notice the weeds and complain. But the master told them to allow the good seeds to grow in the filth. "If you remove them now," he said, "the good ones will be taken away with the bad." So he instructed them to wait till the harvest time when all the plants were mature. At that time, the right time, one would be able to tell which ones are good and which ones aren't. Then, the servants would be authorized to bring only the good wheat into the barn and burn up all the weeds.
So you may have been wondering why you're still living in the filth of yesterday. It's because there's something precious about growing up in filth, as stupid as it may sound. If the filth is taken away from you too early, it may take away something good from you. But you're still there, in the filth, for a reason. You have to learn how to be mature, even in the rubbish. You have to learn the golden rules of life. But just endure...endure till you get to your happy place. It will come...lol. No kidding!
"If you remove them now," he said, "the good ones will be taken away with the bad."
ps: thanks guys for checking up on me...I'm a work in progress, got so many things to take care of at home...but I'm hanging on. How are y'all doing na? May you become mature more and more each day. It's never too late for good seed to be sown inside you. You'll know why later... :)
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