Growing Up in the Filth...


Fiction:

It is not that I wanted to grow up that way. I wanted the good life. I wanted it all, love, fame and fortune. But instead I got filth!

I remember how he used to tell me that I was the only special thing in his life. Daddy would come back home late at night, and I'd still be up waiting for his kiss on my cheeks. Oh, how I used to long for that kiss. I'd stay awake chasing the flies from my dirty face. I'd stay awake hugging Lucy, the doll who never came to life- with her one eye and half-torn neck. I'd stay awake crying because mama was in her room downing the rum like her life depended on it. Finally, papa would stroll into my room and give me my long-awaited kiss, even with the filth on his mouth from the bituminous coal mine. Yes, daddy worked those unnecessary long hours inside that filthy black hole. They were not worth it because the money was useless. In fact he smelled of rotten eggs every night. He told me it was the damp sulfur in the air which they called 'stink damp.' My older sister ran away from it all, but I was the one who stayed and endured the stench.
.
Daddy was a brave man. Mama was a weak alcoholic. My sister was a run-away child. Why I stayed there in the stench, I do not understand. But I grew up in filth. I'm in a different place now. I'm in my happy place now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This morning I opened those dusty pages again. Remember the great book, the bible? Yeah, that one! I read Matthew 13 where Jesus was talking about the parable of the wheat and the weeds. See, a farmer sowed good seeds and in the night his enemy came to plant weeds amongst the good seeds. After a while, his servants began to notice the weeds and complain. But the master told them to allow the good seeds to grow in the filth. "If you remove them now," he said, "the good ones will be taken away with the bad." So he instructed them to wait till the harvest time when all the plants were mature. At that time, the right time, one would be able to tell which ones are good and which ones aren't. Then, the servants would be authorized to bring only the good wheat into the barn and burn up all the weeds.

So you may have been wondering why you're still living in the filth of yesterday. It's because there's something precious about growing up in filth, as stupid as it may sound. If the filth is taken away from you too early, it may take away something good from you. But you're still there, in the filth, for a reason. You have to learn how to be mature, even in the rubbish. You have to learn the golden rules of life. But just endure...endure till you get to your happy place. It will come...lol. No kidding!

"If you remove them now," he said, "the good ones will be taken away with the bad."

ps: thanks guys for checking up on me...I'm a work in progress, got so many things to take care of at home...but I'm hanging on. How are y'all doing na? May you become mature more and more each day. It's never too late for good seed to be sown inside you. You'll know why later... :)

Photo by redbubble

51 comments:

Danny BaGucci said...

nice again...just wonderinng how does this tie up with the parable of the sower where the good seed was choked by the weeds around it?

Jaycee said...

Hey Danny,

How are u? The good seeds were getting choked with the weeds around them...I was thinking along the lines of the weeds that constantly try to choke us as we mature in our walk...there are awful things in life that we have to endure...things that teach us how to walk the walk, which we may not necessarily like to live in. That's what I'm trying to emphasize here...

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i guess i'll first inclination will be to uproot everything... or "end it all" but if stay committed and remain strong... definitely... your day will come...

very nice!
hope you're good chica

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i guess the first inclination*

Kémi Penélopê said...

This post is really touching because I have been the older sister in this story, I would flee from places and situations, I could not understand. But (By His grace) I am learning to stay in the stench like the younger sister...asking God to show me what it is He wants me to learn from being in it.

**Glad you are back…I do hope you had enough rest while you were away? Do take care of you and I hope you have a wonderful week.

THIRTY + said...

@Danny, actually there is difference between the two.

Remember that in the parable of the sower, the seeds actually fell on thorny ground i.e.a soil with existing thorns visible for all to see and hence can be weeded out before commencing sowing.

In the Matthew 13 parable, the soil was good with no thorns. A delibrate attempt was made by the enemy to sow thorny seeds (the thorns in this case were also seeds) and not only were they seeds they were planted at night so no one would know of their existence. Also the effect of the thorns will not felt by the good seeds since they are growing on par, not until thorns start coming out from the plant will the good seeds see the light.

Let me stop here, I feel I am about to preach a sermon if I don't stop.

Rose said...

I guess the weeping may last for the night...but joy comes in the morning...Really inspirational...
Good to know you are hanging on...lol

mystoriesmytestimonies said...

hi girl...
u are such a blessing to my life....
today is my bday....and God used u to minister to me....
THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS POST...

i am a work in progress....

Remi, United Kingdom said...

Hey girl, glad to hear you are doing okay and hanging on. God is your muscle...

This story eh.... very close to home for me - just the other way round, ma was the workaholic...I remember waiting outside the gates of my house,with my younger sibling, waiting for her to come home...*sigh*...

I am a work in progress.

Thanks for this post...
Much love

Beulah! said...

You are so 100% right. I love ur posts, always so inspiring. God bless ya!

Adaeze said...

Hello Jaycee. I am quite new in blogville and have heard about you many, many times and have finally started following your blog.

This was so deep and really touched me. You are so right. I've always been the younger sister in this story. I always choose the harder way because I learn more frmo it, even though it is very hard. We wouldn't have much character if we had never been stained by any filth, don't you think? It is what shapes us, makes us grow, mature and learn.
Thank you for this beautiful post. Have a rewarding and wonderful week.

~Sirius~ said...

WOW

It all makes more sense now.

This has my head in all sorts of places right now.....you have no idea how you just helped me.

Have a blessed week girl......And a big Amen to each and everyone of us maturing.

God bless you.

Gee said...

hey jaycee..its been a minute!
how are you!
nd nice post i tellu...
makes alot lot lot of sense now!
God bless
xx

NoLimit said...

This is really deep and means a whole lot to me...thanks for sharing...

Lady A said...

Good stuff like always. May I add that it's mental...one could be living like a king, but in one's mind they could be living in filth..confusion, fear, sinful thoughts, doubt, etc...and vice versa..I have had friends who actually lived in filth,but in their minds they were rich, happy, healthy, etc...kinda neat and I respect that.

Debbie said...

Inspirational as always.
Everything has it's time, and in deed, we will come out of the filth. We are in it for a reason.

Debbie said...

Inspirational as always.
Everything has it's time, and in deed, we will come out of the filth. We are in it for a reason.

The poets voice ~~~ said...

I've been wondering why I am still living in the filth of yesterday actally and I came to one conclusuion: there must be something there that I have to get from it. Something that I need fr the next phase of my life, for the next place where I am going.

Thanx for the reminder, because sometimes it is easily forgotten why we are still in the filth.

PS. welcome back!! its been ages. how are you?

Jaycee said...

Diamond...lol...it's so funny that what your first inclination would be is mine also! It is what made me stop as I read that chapter, I was trying to figure out why the owner of the farm told his servants to leave the weeds alone to grow until the harvest time (like why didn't they just uproot it right then? Like aren't they wasting the soil?). Then "bam," I got the reason why. Lol.

Penelope...first I want to hug u for checking up on me on my last post, you've been just wonderful...haba! I'm fine o...just a work in progress right now...lots of projects/things going on at the same time...he he. Ehen, so as per this post, lol @ ur confession about being the older sister! Sometimes, it's the little kisses from God here and there that make us wait behind. Being the older sister can cause us to be too over-independent (I know how that feels because I'm the oldest of five kids...*sigh*). I can write a whole book on that one..."independence." Independence can bring about a fall, but being in the position to 'learn' always is a position for empowerment. Remember the Mary/Martha scenario? Lol.

Thirty...you weren't kidding when you were breaking this thing down o. You're right...and for anyone who wants to read and compare both parables...the parable of the sower is in Matthew 13:1-23, and the parable of the wheat and tares (weeds) is also in the same Chapter (funny enough) but in different verses (Matthew 13: 24-30). I wonder why Jesus told both stories so close together...hmmm. Interesting!

Rose...yes o, I've got to hang on o...my life cannot be a waste. That's what happens when we give up! BTW, I just wanted to say that I'm excited that you're part of the blogsville family now...I saw ur comment I think on one of the last two posts and was really excited to see it, but I couldn't comment at the time. Welcome...and make sure you enjoy urself as you read all around blogsville...*shines teeth*

MyStories...woohoo! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!!!! You're such a great person! I can't even describe how much you've inspired me (and many others) by your personal stories...even though we can't really comment on ur blog. I pray that even as God did for Jabez, that today He will ENLARGE your territory. You'll soon have to start getting used to your new self...lol. Happy birthday again!

Jaycee said...

Remi...the one and only sugar in my garri (lol)...pls how is the U.K? Yesterday, someone was narrating to me how brutal the weather was down there...that it changes every 15 minutes and weather forecasts are useless (plus you have to carry your umbrella everywhere). I didn't know it was that crazy! I hope u're enjoying urself o. I receive the muscle of God o, seriously there's no human muscle that can carry me right now...so I really appreciate that word. Ehen, about the story...are you serious? Wow...I can't even imagine how that felt. And look at you today...see how you turned out. Praise God!!! Lol.

Beulah...thank u so much. I hope your week has started out on a good note. If it hasn't, it will change. It has no other choice...:)

Adaeze...you sound soooo WISE! Can't believe you purposefully set out to remain in the stench just because you knew there were important lessons to learn. If no one has told you this before, please allow me to be the first..."that is some Proverbs 31 wise woman stunt you pulled!" Lol. *wink*...(its encouraging to know that you exist out there in the world).

Sirius...first, I need to go catch up on your blog :( Second, I say a big Amen to all of us who are still maturing in hard crazy places...step by step o...:)

Gee...yes o, long time! How bodi? I'm glad it's all making sense now...I'm so glad! Thank God.

NoLimit...I'm glad this whole thing is making sense to you too. Really...

Lady A...comments such as this widen the box of my thinking...thanks. You are sooo right. Even when Jesus was telling the parables, He knew that there were so many variations of the same story...so many different lives (with different stories and characters i.e rich, poor, emotional, stone-hearted) can show the same symptoms. But the heart never lies...

Debbie...your last phrase says it all, "we are in it for a reason."

The Poet's Voice...wise woman! Couldn't have come up with any better conclusion...and yes, it is easy to forget. I tell you, as I was typing this I was reminding myself of where I am now and where I need to be (or where I really see myself in the nearest future). Hmmm...

Kafo said...

hmmm i like the whole connection between the wheat and the tares and growing up in filth


i hope school is going well

Remi, United Kingdom said...

@ Jaycee lol... and I ate garri today oh, with beans! lol..
.. ah the weather here eh? all we can do is praise God. Yes, it changes every minute - this morning was sunny to start with, by 10am, there was heavy downpour, by 3:00pm, we had early spring weather, by 5pm, more downpour, by 6pm the sun came out to play - big time, by evening.. back to spring weather. In fact it is cold and I have the heather on!!! :-))) And that is just one day oh! Baba is flexing his weather muscle! lol

Amen, God will carry you through all your work and tasks and u will come out strong oh in Jesus name. God is good and cus He is sooo good, you have no choice but to overcome and be the best of the best... effortlessly. :-)

Yup, that was just a snapshot of my life growing up... kai. But God works everything together for our good and for His glory. Where I am today, I could never have done 1% of it or dreamed it up... It's all Almighty Baba's doing - this is why I know I have a purpose.. Refinement ain't pleasant or easy, but there is a reason for it all..

Have a victorious week oh.. go forth and conquer :-)

Lots of luv x

jhazmyn said...

I just love Lady A's angle, i can so relate to that, this is some stuff worth thinking about, The "filth/weeds/bad/trials" He sends to bring out the best in me...Amen to maturing through it all

Reverence said...

I still dont understand how you manage get new stuff out of passages that we have all read. wow!

very encouraging and youd ef know that i need this.

ttyl,
your friend the tissue paper..hehe

Hadassah said...

Wow good post very encouraging indeed!

Naked soul said...

i have never been this blessed.... all i can say is Thank you! my path was directed here for a purpose

simeone said...

true words..love this..i'm blessed..
remain blessed j..

Olufunke said...

This ministered to me.
God bless you.
I understand why some times God leaves us in some very difficult situations.......reminds me of Paul's discuss with God....."3 times he asked for the torn be removed, but God still keeps saying ...My grace is sufficient for you"

I am a work in progress.........
Thanks!

Feral Female said...

What a beautiful post, and the music compliments it so well.

I love it when people choose to view something that is normally viewed negative postively.

You're right everything we do in our lives shapes us, and of course we all seek to become better people. Our desire to want an easy life something clouds our judgement and we take shortcuts leading to dead ends or roll down mountains.

I believe filth is also known for covering potential, if someone looks at the filth they may loose track of what's behind it, a shining pearl maybe, or a beautiful flower stuck in the mud.

I don't want to get too deep just yet, just want to say that I really love the feeling I'm getting from this blog.

BSNC said...

this is an uplifting post.. very nice

have a blessed week

Dammy said...

Hmmm..so true.

My past might reek of filth but filth is not in me...

I am a child of the KING!



Thanks for the word. Glad you are doing good.

Jaycee said...

Kafo...I liked the connection too :)

Remi...lol...it's funny that you ate garri that morning...lol.

Jhazmyn...I heard that searching for treasures in filth ain't that much fun...e.g Diamonds. But you're very right, God's purpose is ultimately to bring out the best in us. Just that not everyone gets this understanding in their life time...so they end up stressing over hardships and getting bitter...and finally leading to both physical and spiritual death, which never produces the expected end God was aiming for. Sad! How are you doing? I hope your week hasn't been stressful...:)

Reverence...I think I'll go with "PAPER TOWEL"...LOL. I replied u on ur bloggie...*cyber hug*

Hadassah...thank God that He encourages and comforts us...(Psalm 23...God is with me, His rod and His staff...they comfort me...)

Naked Soul...all I can say is "WOW."

Simeone...yes o...you're a blessed man! And you haven't even seen anything yet sef...

Olufunke...I had to pause while reading your response. Paul's discuss with God is one of the deepest things ever! See, none of us ever wants to be in that place where God refuses to take the thorn away from us, but the thing is...each of us will have to pass through the fire to become pure gold...no matter how much we pray against it. Yup! Plain & simple!

Feral Female...I love what you said about how human beings just want to have the easy life. I have learned from observation that the man who has it easy has not fulfilled his purpose yet! I like that u're getting some good vibes from being here...*wink*

BSNC...same to you too dear...

Dammy...how I've missed your writings! "My past might reek of filth but filth is not in me..." I like that!

rethots said...

"...be taken away with the bad." true, more importantly, the 'bad' has a part (strengthening) in sustaining the good. If you have not learnt to endure life when 'tis 'bad' you just might become lose when the 'good' comes.

Homie GFunk said...

When I read the title and saw the picture of this post I immediately thot of Ezekiel 16... How God describes Israel growing up in filth. You should check it out. Great blog btw! I love coming here.

Jaycee said...

Rethots...I like the way you put it right there...at a certain point the bad sustains the good...

Homie GFunk...my goodness, I just read Ezekiel 16...did you know that there are steps to attaining our beauty? From dirt/filth to beauty...thank you so much for telling me to check that out (I'm passing on that message to everyone else.

Ezekiel 16 is pretty interesting). Let me list the Steps to beauty:1) Verse 4: On the day you were born, your navel cord was not cut, neither were you washed in water (dirt) OR salt, or even dressed up (nakedness)

2) Verse 5: No eye pitied you or had compassion on you.

3) You were thrown out into an open field

4) Verse 6: You began to struggle in your own blood.

5) God saw you struggling in your blood and rescued you.

6) You began to thrive like a plant

7) You grew, matured, and became very beautiful.

8) Verse 8: When it was time to be loved, God spread His wings over you and covered your nakedness.

9) Verse 9: God washed off all of your blood which you were struggling with.

10) After the washing, God anointed you with oil, and dressed you up with fine linen and accessories.

Finally, verse 13 & 14 say "...You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect..."

Homie GFunk said...

I love how you've just enumerated the steps... When I was reading Ezekiel 16, I kept asking why would the Lord allow Israel to remain in that filth if indeed He loved her... but when I think about it I remember that HE makes all things beautiful in its time. There's a time when that glory/ beauty needs to be refined and unveiled. How r ya?

Jaycee said...

Hmmm...this girl...you're spilling some of my favorite scriptures o...Ecclesiastes 3 "He makes all things beautiful in their own time..."So there IS time for everything...I imagine that a new-born does not become an adult the second it is born, eh?

I am doing good o...woke up this morning to a messy room, but I'm about to undo the mess and tidy up. Can't concentrate in a crazy place...geez! Hope u saw my message on ur blog...I like what you've written and I put you on my blogroll. Have a blessed day! (And yeah, thanks for Ezekiel 16)

Writefreak said...

yes there might be filth in my life right now but i'm growing and soon i will be able to take out the weeds...and have only the good seed! halleluyah!
how're you jaycee darl? it's been too long!

Homie GFunk said...

Hey.... I'm so glad u dropped a comment too! :-) It's always exciting to connect with worshipers.
...As the days go by letting go becomes easier. Though some mornings I want to latch on. Hope u have a wonderful weekend yourself!

Penelope said...

I love it when i come on here, lol...have i perhaps mentioned that before?
It's the words...so comforting and true.

xo

Tairebabs said...

This is such an inspirational post. Hope u don't mind if I send it to a friend of mine. He thinks God has to quote him "put him on pause". Being trying to convince him otherwise.

justdoyin said...

very inspiring and uplifting...also made certain things clearer to me...thanks maam...

Today's ranting said...

True word! I can relate with this on so many levels.

David C Brown said...

I love these works in progress which will one day shine as a testimony to the wisdom, and skill, and love of the Lord Jesus, our Master.

archiwiz said...

Jaycee e be like say u no get the memo. I say my blog address don change. The new one na http://therealarchiwiz.blogspot.com

Buttercup said...

I wonder why I dont come here regularly..I intend to change that from today. thanks Jaycee!

adebanji said...

Amazing but sometimes this is too hard to understand,thanks for adding some light to this mystery of growing up with the filth!

TheAfroBeat said...

Great message, thanks for sharing!! There are indeed good works being done in and through us, when it seems all that's around us is filth. We thank God.

Hope you're doing well! Stay blessed!

babajidesalu said...

Thanks once again for your inspirations...I just love the way you link the bible with analogies. That is God's gift to you.

Thanks for sharing and God bless

Sexkitten said...

1st time here. Wow. Great post. Very inspirational. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents. There is something to be learned from every situation.

deola said...

Hmmm. I agree this is great.